A few months ago, I got slightly worried about my son and how much he was getting disciplined for his attitude, lack of patience, and not listening.
In one of those moments, I sat with him, looked into his eyes, and told him I had to discipline him because there are consequences for all actions. The world is cruel, people hurt other people, and not understanding how destructive hate can be and how desperately the world needs great men is dire. You… son, must become the great man the world needs.
Now that he will be ten and is more capable of communicating and expressing complicated feelings like frustration, anger, and disappointments (along with his happy, caring, and loving self), I am now able to be more specific in my prayers and more insightful in my views of him as a young man. I persistently asked God to help me understand his view of the world and the circumstances that are shaping him. “Please, God, help me see how he sees his disappointments, so I can guide him.”
“How can I teach my son to be grateful, loving, kind, and generous without having to go through the pain that can potentially surface these attributes in us?”
I will be completely honest, I didn’t get step-by-step instructions like I hoped for.
But something did happen months later…
It was bedtime, and after reading to both of them, we turned off the lights to say a prayer and lay in the stillness. My son broke the silence by telling me, “I saw a music video today. It had kids with cancer, and they were smiling and running through the halls of the hospital.” “The mom and dad were crying, but they were running with them and having fun.” After that sentence, I felt his little voice crack, and he said, “It’s called I’ll Find You,” and he broke into tears and wept.
At this moment, as I was getting a huge knot in my throat, it took a split second to realize God was answering my questions and prayers through my son’s brokenness.
The sorrow he was feeling was compassion for other people’s pain… it was growing within him. In this life, pain is inevitable… you cannot have Christ-like compassion that creates great men without the crown of pain.
As he cried and cried, it hurt me, but I explained to him that these feelings have a purpose. In his tears was someone else’s brokenness. I realized that I could not manufacture these breakthroughs of life’s realities or a move of God in my son’s heart and mind. I can only speak to the little man I’m raising and foresee the man he can become for the world that needs him. I can proclaim greatness and values into his growing mind.
I speak to his mind and inspire his heart.
I cannot control his decisions, but I can build the values in him that cultivate convictions when he’s faced with each crossroad. Sensitive, but not emotionally unstable.
As a mother, I am grateful for the beautiful journey of raising this young man.
